THE BALD BLOG

Hi, I am Sid. This is the first time I am writing about balding and my personal experience of dealing with it for around 15 years now. While growing up although I did not have thick hair, i would say my hair texture was straight, a bit silky and it looked very good. I remember being complemented for my hair during my childhood and hair was one of the features of my looks which i was proud of. When I was in 8th standard, I started to see a lot of hair fall on my pillow. I would wake up and would see 50–100 hairs on the pillow. This alarmed me and I became much more conscious of my hair. I also started to see some maturing in my hairline where the temples started going back a bit (maybe puberty was playing its role). I used to go to the school washroom to check my hair, but it still looked good and stayed that way until about college. Fast forward 4–5 years and I went to college—this is when the hair fall accelerated. I started shampooing my hair regularly to get more volume and a fuller-looking hairline. Over time the hair fall worsened and I became obsessed over my hairline. I would keep taking selfies from different angles multiple times during the day and compare them to see if the hair fall was accelerating. By then there was already some thinning at the temples, and it started bothering me even more. I would wake up early and spend a lot of time carefully combing my hair so the thinning at the temples was not visible. Some other things I did were: - Avoiding going to the pool, as wet hair would show the thinning - Being extremely conscious while driving my scooter, as the wind would reveal the receding hairline - Not wearing helmets, as i feared it would lead to more hair fall - Combing very lightly so as not to pluck any hairs - Constantly checking if someone was looking at my hairline This got so bad that it made me very anxious and depressed to see my hair thinning. I would not leave my room and would pretend I was sleeping, while I lay inside awake thinking and mulling over my hair. I stopped participating in social activities and during that period I retreated into my shell. I would say it was the worst period. I had lost all self-confidence and would often compare my hair and my looks with other people’s. I had come to believe that no girl would find me attractive, that I had peaked, and that life was all downhill from there. While I was going through all this, one thing that helped me was watching videos of similar young men who had gone through the same. This gradually made me feel that I was not alone and that there was hope for me. I would often watch interviews or movies of Jason Statham, The Rock and other bald actors to feel more confident about my situation. All of this felt good for some time, but after a while the thoughts and self-doubt would creep back. Meanwhile, I was also contemplating getting a buzz cut with a number 1 guard. I wanted to go for it as I was tired of seeing so much hair fall, but I lacked the courage to face the world after shaving my hair. Things kept going like this for 4yrs and it was time for a 6-month internship. I was to go to my home for a month and then leave for the internship which was in another city. I thought it would be a good time to get a buzz cut: none of my friends would see it, and I would be in a new place. The worst would be that i would hate it and in another 6 months it will grow back. I got my buzz cut done and my family’s initial reactions were of surprise. Honestly, it does take a while for people to get used to it. I wasn’t confident about pulling it off either; I secretly wanted my hair to grow back faster and started wearing hats. It was around then that I decided wearing hats again would defeat the purpose of shaving my head. So I kept at it—facing the world, going outside (I even attended a wedding; it was tough but I got one compliment). After doing it once, I was able to gain some confidence back. It took me two more buzz cuts and a lot of internal work, facing the world, not hiding, working toward my goals, and watching a lot of YouTube videos of people thriving after going bald. But it was worth it. I am no longer afraid of going bald someday. For me it was always this thought: if I am not able to accept myself, how can I ever expect anyone else—friends, a future partner—to accept me? That was always my guiding light, and so I never resorted to transplants, wigs, or pills. I know a lot of men struggle with balding. It is even difficult to talk about hair loss. You feel all alone, helpless, and you lose your confidence. That is why I am building a mobile app that will help men take matters into their own hands and get their life back. If you are curious, you can [join the waitlist](https://forms.gle/2APgkD8fDZ1639gr8) and I will notify you once it is ready!